Remember when we used to go out and play, coming home when the street lights came on? Or when you said you were bored and were told to 'find something to do'?

Birmingham mum-of-two Adele Cleaver is calling for children to be given more freedom to find their own ways to entertain themselves - and not on their mobile phones. Having worked for many years as a playworker, she says that play should be led by kids not adults.

She's written a book called Children Don't Dissolve in the Rain which is part-memoir and part-parenting book, suggesting we rethink our expectations as parents to take pressure off ourselves and kids.

Read more: Why you should learn to rest and relax - from a mum who thinks it should be taught in schools

"As a society, we're fixated on productivity and time-keeping, we have a lot of pressure on us as parents to be doing stuff all the time," said the mum-of-two, who grew up in Kings Heath.

"My mum's generation was different. She said they had one playgroup a week at the church hall and that was it. The rest of the time, you were on your own, at home, pottering around with your kids. Now there is an industry dedicated to filling childhood with activities and I think we're the first generation that have had to contend with childhood as a commercial realm.

"That puts pressure on us to fill that time because now suddenly we're being spoon fed all these activities and days out. When do you just sit with your kids and watch what they are doing? That's something I think our generation has lost. I know how important doing nothing for our children is."

We chatted to Adele on the Brummie Mummies Podcast to find out why kids need more freedom:

When Adele became a parent, she prioritised free play as a way of giving herself more time to rest and relax. She says that filling every moment of our children’s time with activities isn't necessarily helpful - and that leaving children to come up with their own ways to play is when the magic happens.

Most importantly, she says it’s OK for parents to just step back and let them get on with it, even if they fail, because this learning will set them in good stead for the future: "I think we can see that a lot of children are really worn out, over stimulated, being given a lot of information and no time to process it.

"Play is a way for them to process. It's a space where adults sit at the side and let their children play in the space you have created. In free play, a child might build something that falls down several times and they have the time and space to try to fix it.

"When you have adults that are OK with seeing children fail, that's when the magic really happens. Children figure things out for themselves. They are so capable and we don't see their capabilities enough. Children grow confident when they play in a way that's meaningful to them."

Adele says it's vital that parents find their own ways to play too: "I think as parents we sometimes forget to play, society thinks it's just children who need to play but I firmly believe we need it as well.

"Play is a set of behaviours that are freely chosen, personally directed and intrinsically motivated. For adults, that's quite varied. It's about what motivates us as individuals, about really listening to ourselves. I love raving, dancing, playing with words, talking to people and making up rhymes. My husband is the opposite to me. He loves to stay at home and watch a film, someone else might like to make something with their hands, swim in cold water, go out in nature.

"Play is as universal as humans are, there are so many different things we can interpret as play. Just think about what you want to do in this moment for yourself? They say you can't pour from an empty cup, this is your time to top yourself up."

Find out more about Adele's book via her Big Blue Play website, where you can order copies. Her book is also available on Amazon and at The Heath Book Shop in Kings Heath.

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