Often in life, our greatest challenges turn out to be our biggest achievements. That was certainly the case for Danielle Manton-Kelly. Her life turned upside down when she became pregnant at university. With the support of her housemates, Danielle completed her degree and said that having a child so young gave her resilience.

She had her second child just after qualifying as a teacher and her third after starting her own business. Now happily married with a fourth baby, Danielle joined us on the Brummie Mummies Podcast to talk about the strength those early days of single parenthood gave her and the lessons she learnt when she became an older mum - namely that any judgement she felt was just in her head.

Today, Danielle is better known as The Enchanted Nanny on Instagram, where she has created a family community she wishes had existed when she was a single mum.

Read more: Mum-of-four shares how she got her 'dream job that fits around childcare'

"Having Bella was the single most life-changing thing I’ve ever been through, it also totally altered my trajectory of who I was as a person," said Danielle. "Before I had my daughter, I was a butterfly because I would flit around, didn’t work very hard and got by on luck. I remember looking at her and thinking of my goodness, I have to keep you safe and build a future for us.

"Suddenly I had this fire lit beneath me that was just propelling everything and she just changed everything for the better. It was such a complete blessing at a time when many people might say this is possibly the worst thing that could happen to me. I have to say I would not be where I am now had it not been for Bella."

Listen to Danielle's inspiring story on the Brummie Mummies podcast:

Danielle returned to her student flat just two weeks after giving birth and, thanks to the support of her friends, she graduated when Bella was about to turn one. Going on to do an intense post-grad teacher training course, Danielle began teaching, specialising in drama, and said she felt huge judgement on her role as a young single mum.

"As a young mum, I was super-eager to please because I didn't want to lose my job," said Danielle, whose children are now 13, nine, six and two. "I was supporting Bella on my own so I was terrified of them getting rid of me. I quickly realised what an all-or-nothing job teaching is and what an all-or-nothing job parenting is and I couldn’t do both things badly."

Having got back together with Bella's dad, Danielle had a second baby and became a childminder before going on to create her own luxury wedding creche service when she had her third child. Becoming ill with rheumatoid arthritis, she sold her business and began hosting live phonics, science, maths, parenting, cookery and story sessions during the Covid pandemic, going on to create the Enchanted Nanny once lockdown was lifted.

"I was inspired by Mary Poppins - she was only there to put the families in a spot where they were comfortable, confident and close," she explained. "That’s what I needed when I had Bella, because I didn’t have a clue what I was doing.

"When I had William two years ago, I wasn't classed as a young mum anymore and it made me realise how much of what I thought was judgement was just in my head. As an older mum, I now realise no-one cares because we’re all too busy thinking about ourselves, running around after our children, thinking about what we need to buy for dinner. We don’t notice anyone else.

"If I’d known, at 19, that no-one gave a whatsit, it would have taken so much of that worry away, I would have lived more freely. I was so concerned about how I looked because I felt I really needed to prove myself as a young single mum. I felt like I needed to go mad for the bake sales, that her parties needed to be huge elaborate things, that we both needed to look perfect all the time and I put so much unnecessary pressure on myself.

"I was studying at the same time so I was trying to do the work of a stay at home mum with years more experience in motherhood whilst running a house and training to be a teacher. What I should have realised is that the only person whose watchful eye I needed to be concerned with was my daughter’s."

She added: "Her lasting memories aren’t the things I thought were critical at the time, like the ridiculous party bags or what she was wearing, it was micro moments where it was just me and her singing or the funny things we said to each other. They had nothing to do with perfection or how much money we had, they were just about our togetherness. I’d love to go back and care less, because I realise now I didn’t need to prove anything to anyone except her and me."

Listen to Danielle's empowering story on the Brummie Mummies podcast. You may also like our episodes on finding your passion in life and getting the career of your dreams after having kids.

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